I felt a lot of pressure when it came to this posting… it had been such a long time and I felt like I couldn’t blog again until I had something really good to say…. and thats when it hit me…. the pressure…. the pressure that we put on ourselves…. and the boxes that we put ourselves into…. as moms, as wives, as people, and as runners.
This occurred to me out on one of my recent long runs… I had to take a few weeks off for personal reasons after christmas and just started running again in Feb. I have been working my way up to running the Minneapolis Marathon again (and it hasnt been easy) and hopefully this time qualifying for Boston. To be honest- I can’t even believe that I just told you that…. that in and of itself is outside my box. You see… I can’t ever do something half ass…. if I say I am going to do something and then it doesn’t happen I beat myself up and feel as though I let others down… so-letting you in on my secret… on my hope…. is huge for me- it is my first step outside my box.
So I got my cousin- Bekah Metzdorff (owner of Mill City Running- the amazing running store in Minneapolis that you MAY have seen my hubby rocking their cozy sweatshirts) to write me a training plan because aside from owning a great store she is also a running coach. So I embarked on the journey to another marathon…. Bekah gave me times I should be hitting in order to be able to run a boston qulaitifying time and at first I was not hitting them… and to be quite honest I am not sure if I will… but when I started to get wrapped up in it and focused on the fact that I was not able to do what I was supposed to do thats when she reminded me that in running if you are too focused on time, distance, or whatever and you lose the fun…. it becomes a chore and you will grow to hate it.
I realized that I do this a lot in life… I put myself in a box and think I cannot be anything outside of the box…. I am a runner so I need to run several times a week…. I dress sporty so I cannot be a fashionista…. I don’t wear much makeup so I cannot put eyeliner on….. I wear running shoes and toms most of the time so I cannot wear heels… I am a mom so I cannot have tattoos….. I don’t eat dairy to gluten so I can never cheat……. and the ridiculous thing about it is that we all do it… think others think of us one way and if we stray from that then what will they think?
The answer is who cares? I feel like it has taken me way too long to get to that answer…. who cares….. you are who you are and even though you may be something most of the time, you can step outside and be something else at other times. So I am going to be a fashionista, wear heels, put on eyeliner, get tattoos (that the hubby approves :) and run when I want…. because in life as in running- if you over think it and put too much pressure on it then it loses the fun and who wants that?
So Boston 2015? I hope so…. I am going to do my damnedest but in the mean time I am going to try to have fun….and I won’t put myself into a box anymore…
Distance: going to bed because I have to run 13 miles tomorrow!
Song: “The Monster”- Eminem and Rihanna
Quote: “Never stop doing your best just because someone doesn’t give you credit”
The family on St. Patricks day….